Deborah Cooke: Author

…then there must be a bat.

Just two hours into the month and we had company. I really could do without hearing that noise ever again – the sound of a bat fluttering against the drapes, trying to get back outside. Ugh. Fortunately, Mr. Math’s Amazing Bat Eviction Method (ABEM) works really well. He entices the bat to go downstairs (this procedure can be funny), then opens the front door (which doesn’t have a screen). The bat gets a whiff of that outside breeze, and goes for it. You really do have to duck when the bat makes his run for freedom.

This bat wasn’t as clever as previous bats – or maybe he was more freaked out – but eventually, he understood and went sailing back into the night. He even disheveled the Queen Bee, whereas usually, she sleeps right through this nonsense. Last night, she marched up to sleep beside me afterwards, ever vigilant (even though she was of no help with the ABEM.)

We’ve no idea how the bat got in. Theoretically, it shouldn’t have been possible, but clearly it was possible. Bats look like mice with wings, and mice usually find a way in even when you think there isn’t one. The difference is that bats don’t stay and they don’t eat much and they seldom poop in the house. Maybe a bat is a better unexpected guest in that!

I’m just glad he didn’t find anything he liked. (It’s usually the young males who get brave and venture into houses in August. They’re looking for real estate to set up a new colony.) Here’s hoping he told all his friends that this location is no good, and we’re done with bats for another year.

Do you get unexpected visitors in your house?