Here’s another change happening at the blog. I’m restarting my weekly posts for writers, on creativity, writing, publishing and whatever else claims my interest for the week. These posts lived here for years, then I stopped writing them because I didn’t have time, then I moved them to Substack to improve the SEO of this site. As I consolidate, in the interest of preserving my time and sanity, they’re coming back here. I will repost some of my recent musings from Substack in the next few weeks.
Today, I want to talk about quitting.
As the market shrinks and publishing becomes more of a challenge, many writers are walking away from the publishing business. Some just quietly vanish back into their daily lives. Some cease to release new titles and stay in a holding pattern. Some announce their departure. Romancelandia is a very positive and supportive little realm, one where writers can find a lot of encouragement to carry on. I think, though, in some cases, it’s justified to just step away and that those writers who feel that need shouldn’t be chided or chastised or coaxed to continue. Sometimes leaving something behind is exactly the right choice.
Recently, a writer I’ve known for a long time announced that she was leaving publishing, and she attributed at least part of her decision to my recent posts of my bleak view of the market. At first, I felt terrible for so influencing her to surrender instead of encouraging her to continue the good fight.
On the other hand…
My oldest and closest of writers began to seek publication in the 1990s. We are more or less contemporaries as well as virtually all women. And our demographic is chock-a-block with women who are on the autism spectrum but undiagnosed, or have ADHD and are undiagnosed. That sort of analysis just didn’t happen when we were in school. And so, we developed coping mechanisms, some of which mask our symptoms, and we carried on. Most of us developed a habit of not putting ourselves first. Some were diagnosed after their children were diagnosed, but most, I suspect, remain undiagnosed and may always be so. As the lists of symptoms become more available, particularly adjusted for adult women, we may catch a glimpse of ourselves in those lists. Hmmm.
The challenge that is publishing, particularly indie-publishing, may be the precise mix of elements to be intolerable to such women. The need to balance so many elements is a challenge to anyone’s executive function, and the current expectation that authors will become media presences – making videos of themselves etc. – is a particularly toxic combination for those who struggle with social interactions. It changes the game completely.
It is reasonable to re-assess a former goal in light of changing circumstances or more information. It is okay to let go of an old dream that has become too hard to pursue. It is fair to choose self-care and put yourself first. When I look at it this way, I feel better if my words helped this friend make such a choice for herself.
The other variable is that we old-guard writers didn’t tend to seek publication to become rich or famous. There was never that much money in publishing, especially in the midlist, for authors. (Not until the digital portals appeared beginning in 2010 or so.) Of course, we might have had the hope of one day making it big, but our main motivation was to share our stories. We are storytellers and I don’t think that changes if you walk away from publishing. Storytellers will always tell stories. (“Why does our new neighbour park on the street instead of in the driveway? Let me tell you a story. It might not be true, but it will explain everything in a way that the truth never does…”)
And stories are the most loyal of companions. The stories will always be with us, and the storytellers will always have a story to tell. That part won’t change. The world is a little poorer each time a storyteller chooses to stop sharing his or her stories, but the stories will keep storytellers company forever. They just may manifest in different ways, perhaps in ways that are healthier for the storyteller.
I can’t wait to see what this friend of mine chooses to do next. She plans to retreat and I know she will heal, and then I suspect the stories will come back. I’m curious to see how they manifest in her life and the lives of those around her.
The moral of today’s post is don’t be afraid to choose yourself. Don’t be afraid to step away from a bad situation. Just because you chose it once, doesn’t mean you have to stick with it forever. Stories are often about rebirth and rejuvenation. Embrace your story and follow it to your own happy ending. Each and every one of us deserves that.
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